


Undo Ordinary: unOrdinary one shots, headcanons & more!!

by americanaaa



Category: unOrdinary (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universes, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Description of blood and gore, Fantasy aus, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Grimm AU, Honestly just a bunch of aus, Humor, I will pioneer some of these ships, Multi, One Shot Collection, Pirate AU, a plethora of aus, angst AUs, aus include but not limited to, bnha au, can u tell im a shipping whore, headcanons, homophobes i polietly discourage u from reading this, i am still ashamed to this day, i will go down with some of these ships, i wrote some of these in my bible class, mythology AU, no-ability-verse aus, requests will soon be open, some one shots have The Big Gay, some spicy stuff ig, soulmate aus, this bad boy can fit SO many aus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 21:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21204443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanaaa/pseuds/americanaaa
Summary: ❝ STOP DANCING ON THAT PENTAGRAM. ❞Or: AUs, headcanons, requests, probably some theories, rants, and me being a shipping hoe because it runs in my blood.Trigger warnings will be labeled beforehand :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh, I do have this posted on wattpad but i think i might post some chapters out of order. Oop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I reliable, serious author with bomb ass fics? No, not really. 
> 
> But I do produce unOrdinary content in this desert of fandom content. If you want better, i encourage you to do it yourself and contribute to growing our content size.

yeah im Back At It Again With <strike>(them white vans)</strike> unOrdinary content. 

Updates are unscheduled and will be updated along with the ones posted on wattpad so yall wont miss anything!!

Stay tuned for serious unordinary content thats not in a crack chat fic!! 

*this fic will contain a variety of ships, skip if you dont like a ship but dont leave a rude comment about them. i dont want to deal with ship bashers ://

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter coming soon!!
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -Jane


	2. hey demons, its ya boi | buzzfeed unsolved au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, the Wellston cast are actually ghost hunting bloggers in college.

"oH MY GOD. STOP DANCING ON THAT PENTAGRAM. JESUS CHRIST." John yelled as he smacked Arlo over the head hard enough to push him out of the sigil he was Fortnite dancing in.

"What? What the worst that's gonna happen to me?" Arlo said with a flat expression, turned away from the camera. His tone hid a smile that John knew was on his face, that fucking dick.

"Oh I don't know. Fucking demons crawling up and out of hell. Grabbing you, and then me because your ass was dumb enough to activate the pentagrams from Flossing." John said with conviction.

Arlo had the _audacity_ to laugh.

"Hey demons," Arlo cupped his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice. "Its me, ya boi Arlo."

"I'm gonna fucking kill you." John hissed as he lunged for Arlo's throat.

Or at least tried to. Because Remi decided that now was a great time to hook her arms around his waist and effortlessly haul him back.

"I don't think killing Arlo in a live stream is the smart thing to do." Remi said in that thick, sickly sweet _'watch your attitude'_ tone.

Was John scared of Remi?

Yes, yes he was scared of his classmate who held 3 country records in power lifting. She a swole bab, and he would rather kiss Arlo with tongue than attempt to go against her, and that was with all his years of boxing training.

"Its not murder if he wants it." John sneered back as he _(fruitlessly)_ tried to pry her grip off of his waist. It only made her crunch his bones even tighter.

"This is family friendly content or else we'll be demonetized, behave." She said with a quick squeeze before letting him go. A quick, teeth baring smile that made him uneasy, before she turned to their cameramen, other classmates, extraordinaire crack head _(alleged)_ duo, Blyke and Isen.

"Sorry for that," Remi apologized to the viewers. "We at Cryptic Cryptids do not condone violence– _Isen__ stop laughing!_" Remi whined as the camera started shaking and pleas of laughter sounded from behind the camera.

"Sorry Remi, but until those two-" Isen drifted the camera focus to Arlo and John, who were already shoving and pushing elbows into the others. "Stop fighting, most of the viewers here just just want us to go over True Crimes and John freaking out about demons."

"And Jarlo content." Blyke added, as that wad helpful.

"Seriously, you two. Stop. Now." Remi said. "We need to make our livestream about the Lady of Lake Oak, not dance in under a bridge covered in dick graffiti."

"Ohohooo, Remi said a bad word." Isen said as the other two boys looked shocked.

"There's a literal pentagram right there. How can you see the dicks before the pentagram?" John said. Remi's visibly grit her teeth before turning back to the camera with a tight smile.

"As legend say, in the 1930's, the war torn villiage of-" Remi's monologue died as her eyes trail over to something out of the camera's sight. Her signature sweet smile pulls into a frown as she crosses her arms. "You idiots know this is streaming live, right?"

John and Arlo pay no attention as they hissed profanities into each others ears, attempting to disguise it as admiring at the vulgar graffiti and crude dicks drawings.

"Gosh, the internet will literally meme the frick out of this moment." Remi said in a long suffering tone as she covers her eyes, eyebrows pinched in frustration.

The camera pans over to John and Arlo. John choking him out from behind, against the cement wall of the bridge as Arlo played one sided Chicken by scraping and plunging his nails into the skin of John's arms and hands in an effort to make him let go.

"Get the camera out of my face. I don't want evidence." John spat as his hands squeezed tighter and Arlo dug his nails even deeper into some already bleeding nail marks.

"You're...... a shit murderer." The blond choked out, and grinned that fucking shit eating grin as John pulled Arlo's arm harder against his own windpipe.

"That's it. I'm done." Remi growled. The comments went wild. Blyke, their microphone man, decided that Remi's lapel microphone was good enough to record her commentary, and lazily scrolled through the comments.

"Lmao, there's horny 12 year olds going crazy over this supposed _'new Jarlo content'_. Hey dude what's Remi doing, the viewers are spamming incoherent letter smashes?" Blyke said as he angled the laptop on his lap so Isen could see.

Isen read a few comments before he went back to his camera, and zoomed in on the dark corner under the street light that Remi and the two boys had disappeared into. "Beats the fuck outta me. Probably a threesome with them or something."

"Language." Blyke replied as he continued to flick through the comment section of the stream. He did a quick check of the sound frequencies showing on his laptop. Remi's microphone was picking up some high frequencies, which wouldnt have been weird if a quick static cackled through the microphonw before all three of them went silent. "Hey Isen-" Blyke's words died as he looked over and Isen was gone.

"That's... weird." Blyke muttered to himself. Sometimes Isen would suddenly wander off for the perfect shots and angles for his newest portfolio, but it didn't explain how he was suddenly alone under a bridge with no one in sight. 

"Remi, Arlo!" He called out.

"_Blyke_?" A voice called back, looking at his software splayed out, it was most likely John.

"Im still here." He said out into the dimly lit park. John emerged from the shadows of one side of the bridge with a concerned look. He walked over to Blyke and sat down with him in front of the laptop. "Where's everyone else?"

"That's what I was about to ask you. Where's Rems?" Blyke said. John shrugged in response.

"Remi said she and Arlo were going to investigate the other side of the bridge and leave me to cool off. I thought they found something and came back to get you guys, didn't they?" John said as he started looking around Blyke for the other two.

"That's weird. Isen left too."

"Oh my fucking god. They're fucking dead." John said, eyes horror stricken. He started picking at his fingers nervously. "The ghost lady took them."

"Jesus fucking Christ stop picking your nails. Your nail beds make me cringe." Blyke said as he slapped John's hands away from each other.

"They probably went a little further." Blyke said as they got up. John picked up a hand-held camera with shaky hands before he passed it onto Blyke. The flash illuminating under the bridge.

"Is that-" John's voice cracked and he pointed a finger at the _'Satanic pentagram'_ that Arlo danced around on. "I thought it was green earlier?"

Blyke rolled his eyes, but he turned the camera's light towards the graffiti to humor John.

It was dark red, and it looked wet.

"I didn't- this was my place to search wh- what. I'm- who could've done this?" John's hands were curling into fists and unfurling nervously.

The fans watching were probably going wild. Blyke's phone that had the stream on was going psycho, if his screen lighting up with notifications had any indication. Blyke moved the camera from the fresh graffiti, instead walking towards the other side of the bridge, and John was forced to follow him.

"_Remi__?!_" John called out. "_Isen__ where are you?!_"

"What about Arlo?" Blyke asked, John rolled his eyes.

"Fuck him. He activated the demon-magic-voodoo circle, he's a big boy, he can deal with the consequences." John said as he went back to calling for his friends.

"Arlo, if you answer back John'll suck you off!" Blyke called out, John made a sound. It was barely two steps later that he got tackled and John used his weight to keep him pinned, and started wrapping his hands around his neck.

"John," Blyke choked out. "...Stop it! I'm... your friend."

"I have three others," John hissed. "I can deal without one."

"St..stop!" Blyke rasped as he started trying to pry John's fingers off.

"Only someone possessed would say something like that." John said as he started fighting back harder to keep his hands wrung around Blyke's neck.

The camera was safely, lightly tossed away by Blyke, thrown a safe distance away as they started rustling around in the grass. As it came to sit, a groan could be heard. The two boys froze, and looked over.

Nestled in the grass, the camera clearly illuminated blond hair.

"Big daddy!" Blyke tries to say since the shock had loosened John's grip on his throat. Arlo let out another, incoherent sound at the nickname. Blyke felt relieved as he somehow struggled his way from under John and ran to pick up the camera, helping Arlo get on his back as he noticed Arlo was face down in the grass. He shone the camera light onto Arlo's face, checking for anything.

"John, you have to suck him off now." Blyle announced coyly with a shit-eating smirk. Arlo's eyes flew open, his eyes horrified before they scrunched up. He hissed at the bright light in his eyes, and shoved the camera away.

"Hey shit fuck, where are the others?" John said as he started walking over. Arlo rubbed his eyes, and blinked. It was like he'd just woken up.

"I.. I don't...." Arlo trailed off as his eyes became distant, like he was thinking or retracing his memories. "Hey you ginger get that camera out of my face."

"Sorry! Sorry!" Blyke said as he pointed the camera down. "Hey! Isen's missing with Remi, too."

"Sometimes I swear he's a girl." Arlo said.

"Oh thank goodness." John breathed softly. Arlo gave him a look. "You're not possessed, it seems like we have Arlo. I could hug you."

"Please dont." Arlo said.

He rubbed his temples as he let out a long-suffering sigh. "You're still onto that? Ghosts took us, took me? Jeez cripple." Arlo said, adding a bite to John's nickname as he blinked, trying to get his bleary eyes to focus as his gaze cut into John. "I'm getting a headache with all your supernatural beings talk."

"You didn't see the pentagram!" John said. "It was blood this time, I swear!"

"Yeah sure, okay _Betty_." Arlo said, propping himself on his elbows. "Let's just wrap this stream up, I'm cold."

After some elbowing from Blyke, John gave Arlo his jacket. They let Arlo slowly gain his awareness, before they started walking around to the playground in the park.

"Is that-?" Blyke trailed off as he pointed at the swings, pointing the light in their direction.

"Remi!" John yelled as he sprinted towards them. She was draped over the swing, her arms and legs dangling and she stirred.

"_Nnn_-w..what?" She croaked as her eyes squinted open. She seemed to try and blink away bleary eyes. "John, what are you doing here?" She said, her voice weak, like she'd been screaming.

"Isen!" Blyke said as he went the the swings next to where Remi was. He was in an identical condition, draped over a swing and disoriented. He too made a sound as id he was waking up.

"Where'd you go off to?! You were like, not it was only a second but-"

"What are you talking about dude?" Isen said sleepily as he rubbed his eyes. "I saw Remi waving me over and I thought-"

"Remi was with me and we never saw you." Arlo said, a confused tone lightly lacing his tone. "If you didn't see me with Remi, then..."

"Oh my fucking Seraphina, its the ghost lady!" John said, his arms flailing out for a second. "You wouldn't believe me, but _no_. Arlo just had to dance on that fucking pentagram-"

"Shut up you pleb." Arlo said as he hit John on the back of the head. "It was probably someone dangerous taking advantage of the dark. And if someone else is here, we need to pack up and leave. _**Now**_."

Blyke did the smart thing and ended the stream.

"Or its the ghost- you guys I'm not shitting! The pentagram, it was blood I swear!" John protested as they hastily went back to their original setup and started packing up. "Blyke was there, tell them!"

"It did look an awful lot like blood.." Blyke mumbled as he turned off the handheld, it light no longer needed and stream long finished. "But maybe it was someone playing a joke? Maybe a subscriber lives near and wanted to prank us?"

"It doesn't matter, let's leave. I only have one switchblade and I don't know how much it can hold off some creeper." Remi said as she patted her pocket. "Wait where is it?!"

A dreary feeling fell over them as they yoted out of that park. Some of the materials and supplies not even put away properly.  
  


\--

"Hey guys, come check this out!" Elaine called over, Seraphina was already at her laptop, flicking through the few frames Elaine froze.

"Yeah?" Isen said as he shoved a potato chip in his mouth. Blyke had propped on his lap and John was sitting beside Sera as Elaine finally ran through the frames.

"See? These frames, they're gone." Elaine announced as the screen went black for a few frames, then popped back to life, the screen showing the park shrubs.

"Maybe Blyke dropped the camera?" Isen said. "I remember handing it off to him at some point-"

"But it's you Isen. And look, the frame right before it cuts out-" Elaine zoomed in on the trimmed bushes that weren't far from their position under the bridge. "Just lighting up the screen and its-"

"Me." Remi said, staring in disbelief. Her face, twisted in an urgent expression, as her hand was frozen in a _'__come__ here' _gesture. "But the timestamp- its- I mean-"

"Its 12:32," Arlo said, interrupting her nervous babble. "Last thing I remember was Remi asking me the time, and it was-"

"12:33." Remi finished. "Wait, I don't have blue eyes...."

"Guys....." John said, breaking the ominous silence. "Sera found something you might wanna see." Elaine kept messing around with some of the frames before the cut off while they went to pile around Seraphina's laptop.

"I did some research on the area and myth before you guys left," Sera said, tucking a tuft of her bangs behind her ear. Her phone was in John's hand, and he past it over to them.

_'Elise _ _Dredger_

_1913-1933_

_Lady of the Lake Oak estate, loving wife of _ _Casier_ _ Dredger, mother...'_

  
The Google search had brought up a portrait. And the light brown dress she was painted in, really did bring out her _lovely, blue eyes. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spooky one shot for the thanksgiving week? More likely than u think.
> 
> Hope yall enjoyed!!
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -Jane


	3. sleep with the fishes down in atlantis | selkie au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Selkie!Remi has cutural customs that confuse College Student!Seraphina.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Seraphina didnt know what to do with a gorgeous girl proposing to her at 5 in the morning at her door. She was running late for her study group and had opened the door in a rush to her car and was interupted with a human blocking her in her doorway with a ring.

"I thought that we should go through human customs for you." The pink haired girl said as a flush came over her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, what?" Seraphina repeated, her expression was dumbfounded and her mind was full of fuzzy static. She was rushing out to make it to her medical class' study group, and seemingly enamored girl was waiting for her with an engagement ring. "My apologies, but I don't remember you." She said, struggling to rush through this extremely 

"My name's Remi!" The woman said cheerfully, the ring box fell to her side. "We met yesterday, on the subway!" Things didnt click until Remi clutched tighter to her gray shawl, hugging it closer to herself.

"Oh right..." Sera trailed off. "I gave you your sweater, um, fur coat back, right?" Seraphina said, more to herself though. The girl's pink eyes shimmered, nodding enthusiastically at the clarification.

"Yep! Oh, I think this belongs to you now-"

She said. She pocketed the ring in her jeans as she shrugged off the _very expensive looking _fur off, then shoved it into Seraphina's hands.

"Jesus fucking Christ, keep it!" Seraphina exasperated as she tried giving it back to the girl. It was 5 in the morning and they could see their breaths. Seraphina was growing rapidly uncomfortable, and her levels of discomfort spiked. The overtly enthusiastic woman was standing with a wide smile that seemed to never waver, in her doorway, and had tossed the only insulation she had into Seraphina's hands despite now shivering harshly.

"I can't, it's not mine now." The girl said, giggling as if it was a funny joke. Like taking back her fur coat in the freezing late fall was laughable. And Sers could see her shivering violently as the woman rubbed her arms as if it'd stave off the cold.

"Your fucking nuts." Seraphina said as she stepped aside in her threshold. Her internal alarm bells screamed in protest against this. "You look two seconds from hypothermia, come inside."

The crazy girl's smile got even brighter somehow, her possibly frostbite flush turning a light pink, and she happily bounced into Seraphina's apartment.

Seraphina whipped out her phone and texted a quick _"if im not ther by 8 __im_ _ded__"_ to the study group chat. Taking a calming breath, she turned around to find the girl inspecting the small picture frames on her coffee table.

"Listen, if you need a ride-" Seraphina started. 

"Who's this?" The girl said, cutting off Seraphina's sentence. She pointed at the picture of her and John as newly graduates from highschool.

"None of your business, now look-" Seraphina's words seemed to have gone in one ear and out the other. Remi seemed unaffected by the hostility and began to flick her eyes around. "Are you listening? I have to leave in like, negative six seconds. You need to leave. Now." Seraphina said.

"Why do you want me to leave?" Remi said, a tinge of disappointment lacing her tone. "I though we would be able to consummate our marriage."

Seraphina choked on her spit.

"I'm sorry, what?" She said.

"Are you not aware we're married?" Remi said, her eyes blinking in confusion.

"The only thing I'm aware of is that if you dont get out of my house, I'm calling the police." Seraphina said as she tapped 911 into her phone. It was a terrible start to her day, apparently being married to a psycho bitch who showed up on her doorsteps. "My mom's a lawyer, so I advise you to fuck off right now."

That damned chick and her big, bright eyes. "Oh, I see. I apologize."

And she moved in closer, as if that would help all the charges that could be pressed running through Seraphina's mind. And taking the coat folded over Seraphina's arm, she draped it over Seraphina's shoulders.

"In my culture, if person possesses our coat its seen as an act of possession." Remi explained, as she eyed Seraphina in the coat with something Sera did not want her mind to go to. "Since you gave it back, its seen as marriage."

It was a pretty shitty morning that day.

Sera also missed her study group.

\--

_"Sera? Seraphina? Are you okay?"_ John's voice filtered through her phone's speaker. 

"Yeah." She said. 

_"Are you sure? Blink twice if youre actually kidnapped and he's forcing you to say this to throw off an investigation-"_

"No really. Im fine. Im great." Sera said. 

_"You've been gone for four days. Prof said you asked for days off. Really, whats wrong?"_ John pressed. Seraphina let out a sigh, clutching Remi tighter as she slept on her chest. 

"I'm on my honeymoon." Seraphina answered. John answered her with laughter. 

_"Oh fuck,"_ John sounded like he was doubling over in pleas of laughter. _"You almost got me there Sera, you know you cant lie-" _

"Im married." Sera deadpanned. "And I'm in Miami for a quick honeymoon. Take good notes for me, okay?" 

Anything that John couldve questioned her with was cut off with a beep as Sera ended the call, tossed her phone onto the hotel bedside table, and wrapped her arms around Remi fully. 

It was weird, moving so fast in a relationship, with a selkie of all people. But Seraphina was willing to learn.

She'd got another aspect to add to her list of "failures" to spite her mother, and someone to indefintely spend the rest of her life with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hella rushed n short but hope u enjoyed!! Im uhh a very big seremi shipper, as gay shit is my cocaine. Hope yall enjoyed this :))
> 
> Chapter title from: Atlantis by Bridget Mendler. 
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -jane


	4. lovely creatures | this chat was a mistake au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author explains the origins of each Blysen pet from TCWAM, JLA.

_M R S. S M I L E Y_

  
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck." Isen whispered as he got on his knees to peer under the bed. "Oh my Seraphina..."

Isen was given a pet tarantula by his sister. Some douche thought it'd be funny to give her a rose hair tarantula for her birthday. His sister almost squashed it, but Darcy was too squeamish so she gave it to Isen to kill.

Long story short, Isen has a tarantula, lovingly named Mrs. Smiley, that he jokingly claimed to be "his child".

That is, until he woke up that morning to his tarantula enclosure's door open.

The spider may have been hairy, scary looking, and bitten Isen on innumerable occasions. But Isen was very attached to the creepy thing. Call it compulsive maternity, but after 8 years of caring for the spider, Mrs. Smiley wasn't just a spider, but his little aracnaid baby.

With no luck, he ran up the stairs to Blyke's dorm. His bro understood how much the creepy piece of shit meant to him and would, without a doubt, help him look for his baby. Blyke opened the door as he pounded on it, probably just waking up from his long afternoon nap.

"Hey man, whats up?" Blyke said, his voice sleep groggy as he started patting around with bleary eyes to find a shirt.

"My spider's gone." Isen said. Blyke immediately snapped to full alertness. He threw off his covers and grabbed whatever shirt was closest to his hand.

"Lets go." Blyke grabbed Isen's hand, but Isen snatched his hand back.

"No, not yet. We need to check here first." Isen said. He'd brought Mrs. Smiley to Blyke's room before and his hysteria induced mind thought that maybe she'd remembered where Blyke's room was and stopped by for a visit. He started rummaging through the clothes that laid about. Blyke stripped his bed and then got on his knees to check under the bed.

They went to double cheked Isen's room. It was while Isen checked the ceiling while perched on Blyke's shoulders, did they hear the scream.

Of course they heard the scream. Blyke almost dropped Isen off his shoulders, and he probably would have if he hadn't been bench pressing him for the past 5 months.

The scream came again, and they rushed to see the comotion, hoping to maybe find Mrs. Smiley. It was what they'd hope for, but also a bad situation.

Gavin was chasing the spider, smashing at it, with his ability in hopes to smash the spider to nothing but a gooey mess. Zeke was screeching while pointing at it and kept screaming to _kill the __damned__ thing_. Isen's body went on auto pilot as he flung himself on Gavin's back.

"DONT YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER." Isen screamed in Gavin's ear_. "I'LL KILL YOU!" _

Zeke was still screeching at someone to kill the spider. And before any of the boys attempted to approach the creature, Blyke ducked under Gavin _(who was still flailing around while Isen screamed profanities from atop his back)_ crouched by Mrs. Smiley and scooped her up.

Mrs. Smiley's legs were trembling, but the hairs on her back calmed down and she nestled into the palms of his hands. The boys of the floor watched in horror as Blyke calmly pet the tarantula.

Isen, noticing that his baby was safe, deftly jumped off of Gavin's back_ (not without scratching his shoulder, hard)_ and ran over to Blyke to inspect the safety and wellbeing of his spider. It was almost sweet, Isen fawning over a spider as he cooed at it in an attempt to soothe it.

Of course, Zeke had to ruin it.

"What the hell do you think youre doing?!" Zeke screamed as he pointed at Isen, more sepcifically the tarantula perched in his hands. "Kill it already!"

It earned him a beam shot towards his way. Blyke's eyes glowed menacingly as he started to condense the energy in a warning.

"I'm NOT killing my child you shit head." Isen said calmly. "Next time you try killing her, I'll tell Blyke to shoot up_ your _head."

Zeke watched with a gaped jaw as the two retreated. Blyke let Isen up the stairs first, and before he began his ascent up to his room, he cast a glance behind him.  
  


"That's a promise." He guaranteed and began to climb the stairs.  
  


\--  
  


_T R A S H Y_

  
"I'm not checking it out, you check it out!" Blyke said as he tried pushing Isen towards the trashcan while trying to avoid being pushed closer as well. They'd been having a push fight ever since a relaxing bro trip to the lake turned into a game of Chicken to see who would have to see what was making noises in the picnic area's trash bin.

"I'll suck your dick if you check it out first." Isen said, straight faced with complete seriousness.

"Wha-!?" Blyke said, not shocked that Isen would say that. He was more so embarassed he'd say that in front of so many people in such a public place.

"What?" Isen said as he planted his feet at an angle and pushed against Blyke with renewed vigor. And ended up tackling him to the ground, and then sat up on his waist. Much to Blyke's embarrassment as a crowd had previously started to condense to see if anyone had the balls to investigate the haunted trashcan.

"I win!" Isen said with a shit eating grin. He pointed to the trash can. "Go now." His voice had an underlying threat, and Blyke wasn't stupid enough to say no. So he stepped precariously close to the trash can, and the group near them held their breaths in suspense.

To Blyke's surprise, there were two beady eyes staring back at him as a stench started wafting through the air. He jumped back when it unexpectedly hissed.

"I- It's a possum!?" He shouted. A murmur swept over the crowd. Isen was immediately behind him, peering over his shoulder at those black, soulless eyes.

"Baby trash boi!" He exclaimed. "Look Blyke! It has your eyes!"

"Why does it have my eyes?" Blyke couldn't help but ask. Isen leaned his head on Blyle's shoulder as he leaned in to speak in his ear.

"Cause they're soulless, just like you."

Blyke almost threw Isen into the trash can.  
  


\--  
  


_B O I_

  
"That'll be 60$." Idun said. Blyke handed over the money and the girl passed the cat to Isen while she counted the money.

"Thanks. Enjoy that little demon." Idun insulted fondly as she gave one wave before she turned to walk out the door. Before she left, she stopped once the door was open. "And if Vaughn find out about the kitten, you adopted it from the shelter. I'll tell Kalisa you guys said hi." She left, leaving a cold temperature in Isen's room.  
  


So, they may have wanted a cat. And so what if they paid the shady Kalisa to get them one? Maybe Idun, the dealer, was joking about the demon cat. After all, Idun held the kitten for transport for two days before she delivered, it couldn't be THAT bad, right?

"So," Blyke said trying to dissipate the chill left by Idun. "Is it a boy or girl?"

Isen walked over and sat next to Blyke on his bed. "I don't know, how do you tell?"

They both looked at each other, for a stupidly long time. Blyke suggested they Google it, so Isen went to his desk, opening his laptop, and set the kitten next to his keyboard. Blyke came to sit on the arm of his roll-y office chair and scruffed the kitten since it was attacking Isen's fingers as he typed.

After a nearly half an hour, they deduced that the kitten, was in fact, a girl.

"What do we name her?" Isen asked, groaning at how hard it was to start taking care of a cat. He flopped on his bed, next to Blyke.

Blyke looked over. "Pepe."

"You're not fucking serious. That died back in 2016. I'm not naming our kid after a dead meme." Isen said with complete seriousness.

"Karen?" Blyke suggested. Isen gave him a pointed look.

"Like, _'Oh my god Karen, why are you so stupid'_?" Blyke further explained. Isen got up and snatched a notepad from his desk before nestling back against Blyke.

"Karen." He murmured as he wrote. "Kay. Got anything else.

"Why don't you come up with something? You bought her with your money, she's technically yours." Blyke said, in an almost accusing tone.

"I named my tarantula Mrs. Smiley. My sister banned me from pet naming privileges." Isen deflected. He rolled onto his back and set the kitten on his chest, she was purring and nuzzled into his hands. It was nice.

"Yeah, but your sister isnt here. So I don't think her ban applies right now. So what kind of name are you thinking? You wanna go old fashion, like Ethel?" Blyke said. Isen looked at him with a deadpan look.

"Okay so no Ethel." Blyke reached over the rub behind the kitten's ears.

"I wanna name it something that'll piss Darcy off." Isen said after a precious second of them petting the kitten. Blyke sat up suddenly and looked Isen dead in the eye.

"Despacito."

Isen stared at Blyke blandly. "Make it gayer," He said.

"Alexa Play Despacito. That's her full name." Blyke replied.

"Crack head-ier." Isen said, still not satisfied with his kitten's name. There was _no_ way he was torturing his now offical child with a name like _Alexa_. Let alone see his sister's satisfaction in one exception to his list of fucking up the names of his pets.

"Ohshit Whaddup Here Comes Dat Boi Alexa Play Despacito. Boi for short."  
  


"Perfect." Isen said as a slightly devious grin started to ghost his lips. He picked Boi up by her scruff, looking straight into her glazed eyes as she froze up(he'd learned it was a side effect of scruffing cats).

"Lets go meet your Auntie, Boi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. smiley's freedom jump coming soon, feat. Isen screaming. 
> 
> Wattpad sucks, im moving everything over here. 
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~ 
> 
> -Jane


	5. - one drop should be enough | ouija au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spooky shit yall. Dont mess with spirits.

* * *

_Headcanon_\- unO mains whilst playing Ouija:

Remi: Freaks out a lot and almost always removes her fingers from the planchette. It forced to stay by Seraphina until they say goodbye.

Elaine: Is very superstitious and hates playing. Arlo usually ropes her into this.

Arlo: Troll partner supreme with Seraphina. Comes from superstitious family and definitely believes, but still likes to fuck around. 

Seraphina: Thinks its all a hoax. Moves the planchette to give everyone a heart attack and laughs at it.<strike> _(Until it backfires.)_</strike>

John: Looks calm, but secretly screaming on the inside once the planchette starts to move. From then on he gets spooked easily.

Isen: Crushing Blyke's hand from how hard he grips. Tries to keep screaming internal for the most part.

Blyke: Screaming on the inside from the pain of Isen crushing his fingers. Thinks its a cool game though.

* * *

  
"Aye gucci gang fam. What up y'all." Isen said to the circle lounging around in the living room of the girls dorm. He untucked the board game from his arm. "Since its my turn to choose our game for Game Night, I brought this bad baby," He taps his fingers against the game.

"Oh! I've heard of that!" Elaine says as she leans in closer to look at the label of the game. "Aren't these spirit boards?"

"Yeah? So?" Blyke says, looking up from his phone. "By the way, any of you girls have any candles?"

"Yeah," Seraphina says, standing up despite the light protests from John, and went into her room. "Wait one moment you guys, I'll go get it."

"My mother used to have one of those." Arlo said as he turned the cardboard box the board was contained in. "Huh, don't use it alone, or in a graveyard. That's.... oddly specific.."

Seraphina comes out of her room with candles and a box of matches.

"Isn't that against the rules?" Remi asks as she strikes a match and lit a few of the candles. A sweet, fruity smell fumigated in the air heavily.

"What they don't know won't hurt them." Seraphina shrugged off the concern. "Besides, you can't play Ouija without candles- Elaine please close the window, I don't want these blowing out."

Blyke and Isen quickly set up the area. Its just a planchette and the board, on the floor instead of the table, and Arlo's making popcorn in their kitchenette. They're all set and cosy, and then press their fingers to the wooden piece.

"Whatever you do, don't take your fingers off." Seraphina says cooly. "Are there any spirits here with us?"

Its a sharp jerk across to the corner.

** _YES_ **

Quickly, theres murmurs among them, Arlo's calling bullshit. John's eyes are wide, and he isn't the only one. Remi gets jittery and removes her fingers as she crawls back and away from the board.

Seraphina smirks. The atmosphere has changed, the uneasiness creeping about makes her giddy. She knows its Arlo who moved it.

Arlo thinks she moved it. It was their thing to tag-team during Ouija games to terrify as much as they could. 

They coax Remi back, and she puts her fingers on the planchette.

It starts moving again.

** _H-E-L-L-O_ **

"And so it begins." Blyke says in the weirdest tone he can muster. It cracks up Elaine who in turn makes Remi join in with the laughter.

It started off great...

\--

"Who thought this was a fucking good idea?" John said through clenched teeth and wide eyes. Seraphina was gritting her teeth through the pain of John crushing her hand with his grip.

"Uhh depends on what's gonna happen to them?" Isen said with a shaky voice.

"I'm gonna break this board over their head and use the splinters to stab them and kill them dead." John said, his eyes glinted dangerously.

"Not if I get to them first." Arlo said, both of his arms in death grips by Elaine and Remi respectively.

They had contacted a few spirits. Or at least, they think they did. No one could tell if it was Arlo, Seraphina, or some spirit trying to communicate with them.

"Its just a game." Seraphina said with a sly smile. "Hey Ghostie, what's your name?"

"seRAPHINA OH MY GOSH I HATE YOU!" Remi shrieked as her fingers were pinned under Sera's as the planchette started to move across the board.

** _J-E-A-N-N-E_ **

"Jeanne? Huh." Blyke said as he thought about the name. "When'd you die?"

"Fuck you ginger." John bit out as the candles flickered around them and the room got a bit chiller.

** _B-L-O-O-D-Y-W-A-R_ **

"The Bloody War?" Seraphina purses her lips. "Any of you know what that is?"

"No?" Remi says as a thoughtful look crossed over her face. "Do you want to hurt us?"

** _NO_ **

"Are you alone?" Elaine tentatively asks. John shoots her a hard glare that wouldve shooken another, weaker person. 

The planchette moves away, before going back to **_NO_**. Arlo notices how everyone except Seraphina visibly pales, Elaine's crushing grip gets more clammy by the second. He's interally laughing at how scared shitless they are, because Seraphina is obviously moving it. "Do any of them want to hurt us?" He asks, Remi calls him censored profanities while Isen is wondering why Arlo wluld do this to them. 

The planchette arches aross onto **_YES_**.

Blyke flinches from his spot, then proceeds to try to cringe into himself. "Alright, quit the bullshit who's moving it?"

A few yelps sound as the wooden piece moves.

** _N-O-O-N-E_ **

There's a tentative pause. No one can speak and the atmosphere between them is getting thicker than honey. It began to move again.

** _M-E_ **

There's a chill more drastic than the one that's hung over them since they started the game. The candles flicker. 

"What do you want?" Arlo asks, his shoulders are squared and his body is tense. It's like he's ready to throw some hands with the ghost. It's takes a while for it to start moving, the planchette trails over the alphabet before scuttling around, never settling on a letter, moving completely erratic. 

Then it stops over the middle of the board.

There's heavy breathing between all of them. The sudden movement of the planchette causes them to jump in their own skins, flinching like they were electrocuted.

** _S-O-R-R-Y_ **

The candles go out. Remi and Elaine screams shrilly, and it quickly goes to a rasp. Isen isn't as fortunate as his screech is the most prominent of those screams. The candles are knocked over by a particulary strong gust, and the window curtains blow with the wind as Seraphina scrambles to flick on the light switch.

The bright lights fill the girl's dorm room, and the planchette is perched innocently over **_GOODBYE_**.

Seraphina furrows her brows as an involuntary shiver wracks her body, goosebumps prickling her skin, the wind came in a particularly cool and strong gust. She rubs her arms to warm up the skin as she walks over to the other and sits back in her spot.

"Who opened the windows?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from: Black Magic by Little Mix
> 
>   
Yeah some of the songs have nothing to do w the one shots, but boy do i love them.
> 
> Have any of yall every play ouija? Let me know!!
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -jane


	6. - momma can i get another amen? | modern mythology au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the most sinful thing i ever wrote (at the time). The only pure thing is the one (1) ref to floriography.

John Doe's life was based on facts, on the physical limitations of gravity and all the other scientific laws and notions of the terrestrial plane. Being a scientist let him explore and understand the limits of the world he existed on along with billions of other people.

That is, until, his boyfriend had to sit him down and have a talk after he saved the both of them from a falling construction lift.

Of course, it was like pulling teeth just getting him to say that he saved the both of them. Even harder to try and get an explanation.

"You protected me." John said to begin this discussion over breakfast. Arlo shifted uncomfortably, which was extremely un-Arlo-like of him.

"Well, yeah. I guess. Someone's gotta watch you because you'll probably go and do something stupid, like parkour off a skyscraper." Arlo deflected.

"It was one time- wait. Were not talking about me here. You're like some magical entity or something. You- I saw it, Arlo. The barrier-shield thing." John said firmly.

Arlo took a nonchalant sip from his coffee mug. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I had my eyes open."

It was uncomfortably silent as both waited for the other to say something.

"A magical entity, huh?" An almost bitter smile pulled very gently. "Well, I guess you're _kind of _right..."

John almost choked on his coffee.

\--  
  


To say that it was an interesting conversation was an understatement.

"By fae standards, we're basically married now." Arlo said. At first John thought it was a joke, but Arlo didn't make jokes. Hell he didn't even lie. _(Which Arlo later affirmed was a trait of being fae.)_

"Uhhh, what do you mean? What if I break up with you or some shit?" John asked. "You're not exactly easy to be around, you know."

"I mean, I know but hey. You'd be lucky if I can convince my mom to turn you into a plant." He replied, he tried hiding his smile at John's horrified look.

"This is like, culture shock, but worse." John groaned as he dramatically draped an arm over his eyes. "Man at least with a Mexican the worse that happens is my food's too spicy. But no, you had to be a fucking fae and one wrong move and I'm a toad." A light shove pushed his arm off of his face.

"Personally, I think you'd make a really cute petunia." Arlo said, in nearly deadpan voice. John shot a glare at Arlo, only to find him smirking.

"Literally stop." John said as he flicked Arlo's forehead in annoyance.

"You know petunias are a negative flower right?" Arlo said. "They mean like disdain or some other poetic shit, basically like you." The smile curved his lips again.

"Oh yeah, haha. Make fun of your human boyfriend. What happened to the others, did your mom sacrafice them to Satan?" John said sarcastically. He knew it hit a nerve when Arlo's jaw clench and there was a twitch of annoyance. "Are you sure _you_ aren't a petunia- _Arlo!_" John exlaimed as his boyfriend threw himself on top of him.

"My mother heard you talking like that, and you'll be turned into a snake." Arlo punctuated his sentence with a brief peck on the lips, and squeezed John's waist tighter to himself. "I think I prefer you as a human, though."

John huff a laugh. "More like you like my dic-"

Something sharp scraped against his neck, which caused the words to melt back down as a something entirely different creeped up his throat figuratively.

"What the fuck, Arlo."

Arlo gave him a faux innocent look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You bit me." John said as he gave his boyfriend a shove, effectively getting him off and only smushed against him on their couch.

"Its not biting if you don't break the skin." Arlo said as a ghost of a smirk graced his lips. It was then that John could see, that yes, his boyfriend had sharp teeth that caught on the skin of his lips. John prodded his lip to expose more of the canine tooth.

"This looks like it wouldn't feel good in my mouth." John bluntly said, and he could feel Arlo wheeze out a laugh.

"Maybe," He said as he began mouthing kisses into John's neck, the elongated canines purposely catching onto skin. "Wanna find out?"

"Are you kidding?" John's hands wandered lower. "_Yes_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus: "You know this doesn't mean you can skip meeting my mom." 
> 
> "Fuck you."
> 
> "I just did." 
> 
> Lowkey ashamed i wrote this ✌✌
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -jane  

> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -Jane


	7. - youre so hypnotizing |  arlaine  |  pirate au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pirate!Arlo slowly becomes infatuated with a captive after raiding a strange coastal village

The remaining captive they had was weird.

  
She spoke in a language that didnt sound like the common language of their native country. She seemed to understand Latin, but replied in whatever dialect she knew just to tick her captors off.

Arlo had been trying for two weeks straight to break her in. She just seemed to take whatever and return to sitting in a corner of the ship, staring at them with blank eyes. She could only keep down fish and other seafood, he'd learn after a week straight of her upchucking the preserved meat they had, and she never drank a drop of the water they offered.

Even the other captives from their previous exploits (that they didnt sell) were wary of their fellow prisoner. They were kept near the beer barrels in the cargo hold, unless they were sold off to some brothel for a pretty penny. The few others they captured from that damned village displayed similar, more intense behaviors, and were sold off rather quickly due to the crew being unable to deal with the insane girls sharing the ship with them. The handful of times the last captive tried to escape, she always aimed for going overboard, and shrieked terribly, and that was how the crew found out she had part of her tongue cut out. It was a quick check on the other captives from her village that confirmed that they'd all had some degree of mutilated tongues.

Arlo became particularly close as they realized that she _was_ speaking Latin, and dedicated whatever free time he could find, to her. He couldn't quite place it, but something about her was particularly mesmerizing, unconsciously always searching for her when the second mate told him to take a break. It took a while to fluently understand her slurred speech.

She could write, and Arlo was one of the few aboard that could read (he was a nobleman's bastard, but oldest son and was therefore entitled to training in literacy). He claimed her as his, being first mate had its perks and the captain probably thought good riddance on the behalf of a faulty girl. They would spend nights awake in his bed, Arlo receiving answers written in small cursive on the paper he bought at ports.

One day, the girl, had a serious demeanor as she went to the table in a corner, a full sheet instead of the ripped strips she usually wrote on. The oil lamp illuminating her intense focused expression as the soft scratch of the pen quietly echoed in the room.

"What are you trying to say?" Aelo said, getting out of bed as he went to where she knelt. She swatted him away as he tried taking a peak at her rather long reply to a question he never asked. He sat next to the table, back to the wall as he stared at whatever other than the girl he apparently owned.

The lull of the ship, the sound of the waves softly lapping at the starboard and the scritch-scratch of the pen had almost soothed him to sleep when the sound of paper being picked up and held, then feeling her shove it into his hands startled him awake. She looked at him expectantly, and it took him a split second longer to realize she wanted him to read her letter.

The side he saw had two words jotted in her cursive letters.

_Thank you_

Confused, he looked back up to her, and she made a flipping motion with her hands. He turned over the paper, and had to hold it to the light of the lamp to read the words that spanned the majority of it.

It started out with _'Since I trust you'_ and wrote out that her name was Elaine.

He looked back at her. "Elaine?"

Of the while they'd been talking, she always diverted from revealing her name.

She nodded, and then made a gesture, urging him on to read more.

It went extremely heart baring, saying how despite the things the men did to her aboard, she was extremely grateful for them taking her. He made a noise.

"_Ba..d... h-hoome._" She croaked out, her speech slurred and sounded disembodied.

The letter expanded on her surprising gratitude, saying how her own parents had started cutting piece of her tongue out and filing her teeth down, against her will. Explaining that her older sisters were forcibly mute and her younger sister had just had her first piece of tongue cut out. It elaborated upon the horrors she suffered, the ones that she could remember.

"Why?" Arlo asked before he could think about how insensitive it was. How the girl he'd torn from the only home she'd known, and had to suffer through weeks on board, only to be relieved once someone had claim her as their own. And he just asked her why she'd suffered through her parents. Before he could attempt to backtrack on his question, she tapped her finger to the bottom of her writing.

_'Im not human.'_

It felt like he was winded, and he froze, tense. Scared to look over at the girl he'd been enjoying for the past couple of weeks.

A light tap had his attention, and Elaine had a tight smile as she lowered her eyes to stare at her lap.

When she looked up, Arlo understood.

Her teeth, although blunted, were still long enough to poke the bottom of her lips. Her pupils were black and leaked down dark liquid, not quite tears but her eyes just seemed to drip on their own accord. Her breath rattled slightly as the ridges, _gills_, on the side of her neck was illuminated by the soft light of the lamp by the sweep of her hair.

"What are you?" He asked, hand instinctually going for the knife he kept on his belt. He cursed himself as he realized he didn't sleep with his belt and was left with a creature that was by all means, a captive and could turn hostile. 

Elaine was back to the regular appearance. She looked scared, and when she reached out for him he flinched, his arms twitched defensively.

She looked absolutely horrified at him. Tears, clear ones, started welling in her eyes.

"Sorry?" Arlo said as he tried to relax, but it was rathee hard to, when the girl who he had been carelessly keeping close had turned out to be anything but human.

_'Siren'_

"You're a... siren?" Arlo asked, even though he felt dumb when she nodded. He had heard that her country, especially the coastal regions, had seriously believed that sea creatures inhabited the sea. He'd managed to catch some myths and stories from the ports of her country.

He never really believed them, but after the quick glimpse he got of Elaine turning into that... _creature_, Arlo thinks there might be a bit more truth to the stories.

"_Moom nooo-_" Elaine seemingly got frustrated with trying to speak, angrily picking up the pencil and the irate expression still present as she scribbled her sentences. _'Got it from father.'_

"Why did they do that to you?" He askex, feeling like slapping himself for being so insensitive while the girl he'd technically kidnapped was trying to open her trust to him. She pointed to the letter he'd dropped and pointed at a part of the letter he hasn't gotten to.

_'_ _S__top me from singing_ _.'_

"Your parents...cut out your toungue?" Arlo asked, the rush of slight bewilderment being a foreign feeling that made his nerves tingle at the emotion that he hadn't felt for a while. He was a pirate, and had desensitized himself to some of the worst things that depraved humanity could conjure up.

"That's... a lot to go through." Arlo said, Elaine tilted her head with interest and quickly wrote a _'You?'_

Arlo let out something closer to a chuff than a laugh. "Not much about me, my dad screwed over my mom and she had me as a failsafe. His wife wasn't pleased and after her own son grew old enough to inherit, they took it from me. Worked at the docks, I didnt like it so I became a pirate."

_'__That__'s rough'_ Elaine wrote, a tentative expression takijg over before she went back to scribbling, handing it to him to read. _'__You__ like it here?'_

Arlo let out a small, bitter laugh. "Of course not, but the pay's good and I get a home."

_'Ever want to leave?'_ Elaine wrote.

"Yeah-" Before he could finish, she pushed a strip of paper to him. Then immediately shoved her face in her hands, embarrassed probably by whatever was on the paper.

_'Leave with me?'_

Arlo had his rejection stuck in his throat. Why would he drop the life he'd spent years attaining for some half breed his captain took because he thought she was pretty?

"Sure." He said instead, and he clasped a hand over his mouth, biting his tongue as if he was afraid it would betray him. He didn't know why he agreed, he had every intention of saying no.

A gentle hand nudged his hand away. And then the smell of wisteria flooded his senses, overwhelming and it coated any of his thoughts with a hazy cloud of the sweetly potent scent. It took a nearly embarrassing amount of time and the fact that he slowly felt the budding need to _breath_ build up. The siren was kissing him, soft and chaste on the lips.

He starter going lightheaded, he didnt know what to do. He never really kissed anyone without a sensual intention. Any soft feeling was foreign territory.

It seemed the siren took pity, and she pulled away, red faced and just as out of breath as he was. She quickly scribbled something down and set it down timidly next to him as she seemed to try and curl into herself from the embarrassment of doing something so bold for her character.

_'You can't break a siren's promise sealed in a kiss.'_

"I wont, I promise." Arlo said. His breath caught in his throat as she slowly leaned forward, sprawling onto him and slowly encircled him in a hug, a pleased hum trilled from her throat.

\--

It was hard convincing the captain to let him leave. He'd been a loyal crew member for years and worked his way up through sheer determination. Plus, he'd have to leave behind any captives he'd claimed, leaving the ship meant leaving everything, and getting little gold to make a life outside of piracy. 

Elaine promised that she'd be able to escape, and that it was the best way to avoid suspicion. They met up at an inn at the port Arlo had been dropped off at, and other than a few cuts and bruises, she was the same. It was an extremely discouraging hassle of getting far away to start a fresh beginning, it had lasted over half a year. 

But Arlo knew it was worth it.

He'd do this for a thousand lifetimes if it meant being able to leisurely enjoy her company. To provide for their family.

They had moved back to her home country to raise their son once they found out she was expecting. They stayed far away, however, from the coastal village Elaine was from. Only going to check up on her sisters, under the ruse of showing the grandparents her child.

Her younger sister had begged for rescue, and the eldest wrote out her laments in letters sent to Elaine. The rescue was extremely risky, but both were married to some of Arlo's shipmates who soon retired with their new wives to start their own family. Elaine never really knew what happened to them after, but she liked to believe they were as happy as her, being able to finally escape their parents.

Their son, which turned out to be their only child, never showed any signs of inheriting his mother's side. Elaine came to peace with it, and they lived out the rest of their days in a town which would never know the true origin of the handsome, wealthy merchant, his pretty, mute wife, and their son who grew up to look like a spitting image of his father and the voice of an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from: Catch Me by Demi Levato. 
> 
> Disney Demi Levato was peak music for my fetus brain. I loved her snfjkdfj
> 
> Also, this just in: I can't write fluff/romance to save my life. 
> 
> Hope yall enjoyed!! 
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~ 
> 
> -Jane


	8. delicate twit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Current John×Elaine and Arlo×Sera. Past Jeraphina and Arlaine. This is angst so i will try my best to break ur heart.
> 
> Trigger warnings: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse and Unhealthy Relationships.
> 
> ***Do not read this if these are any of your triggers. Please. (I myself am struggling with figuring mine out, and its Not A Great Time.) For your own sake and skip this chapter if you feel personally uncomfortable at any point, and keep yourself healthy 💗💗💞

Seeing Seraphina after all these years at a mall was like a final gut punch that nearly brought him to his knees.

He would have, if Elaine wasnt by his side to lean on. It didnt go unnoticed by her. His slackening grip on her hand was the most telling.

"Whats wrong?" She asked, looking at him with concern. When he didnt say anything, she followed his line of sight. Her lips pinched into a near line as she took a sharp intake and she'd stiffened.

Eight years couldnt smooth over the rough way they'd parted.

* * *

_John expected her to curse at him. To cry, to be upset. To be incredibly, indescribably angry at her. To break up with him the minute she found out that his status as a cripple was just an elaborate _ _masquerade_ _._

_Instead, she just lightly smiled. "Its okay." She said as she pulled him into a hug. It was so disorienting, that hed forgotten to return her hug._

_That should've been one of the first warning bells. Instead, John just felt relief that Sera didn't mind he was a high tier. _

* * *

Elaine's hand tightened. And John could feel it, he was holding her hand after all. His jaw set when he saw him.

Arlo.

The blond had swung his arm nonchalantly around Seraphina's shoulders. And she didn't tense or punch him in the gut like she used to back in highschool. Instead she got on her tip toes and gave a brief peck on his cheek.

When she settled back on her feet, her gaze caught them and she'd frozen, gawking. Arlo saw almost immediately what caught her attention and his grip on her shoulder visibly tightened, so much so that Elaine let out a wince, but kept it from showing on her face.

A silver band on Arlo's finger glinted in the afternoon light that streamed from the overhead glass dome.

John's stomach churned. Elaine, ever his saving grace, put on her charming smile and called out "Arlo!" in such a way that John could almost believe they were close friends. And she weaved through the mall crowd with John in tow to their exes.

* * *

_Sera was _ ** _really_ ** _ clingy. But John kept himself from thinking that. She was a great girlfriend and cared for him so much. Considering what they'd been through, he gave her a free pass because the fact that she was there, with her soothing, nonchalant air helped him calm down._

_But she started getting severe cases of separation anxiety. She'd started sleeping in his bed, letting him hold her while she tried to chase sleep fruitlessly. _ _John tried his best to help her through her episodes, to be a good, supportive boyfriend._

_"Hey Sera, can you go to the corner store and pick up-"_

_"Got it." She'd answered. And she was out the door before he could say another word._

_He'd wanted tea, and she brought peach tea. He prefered green tea but he still drank it anyway, and gave Sera his thanks which made her beam._

_She was really pretty when her eyes gleamed in that crinkled, please way. Her smile was obviously an elusive, yet wonderful thing, but John much preferred the familiarity of her happiness expressed out of her eyes._

_Whenever he gave her a compliment or praise, she'd always have that stupidly happy glean to her eyes._

_John regreted not asking for her to smile more. _

_She'd have done it in a heartbeat. It didnt matter if it was genuine or not, she'd do anything John asked._

* * *

Elaine never told him what past she and Arlo had together. Just that it was a stupid high school romance. However her bitter edge of repeating it had softened each year they'd been together.

With how relaxed Arlo was, talking to her, John could believe it. They were making plesant small talk that had John almost not completely awkward when he talked to Arlo.

Seraphina just stared. Her eyes were the open book, so many emotions clashing in them. She answered Elaine's chatter with one word replies-"How are you? I havent seen you in ages!" "Good."- and she once Elaine started talking with her, Seraphina's eyes never strayed from the baby carrier that hung in the crook of Elaine's elbow.

"How old is he?" Arlo asked, pointing at the swaddled, sleeping baby. It was akward talking to the person who'd efectively ruined his academic years, but for Elaine's sake, John decided to go along with it.

"Two months. It's a girl." John said as least stiffly as he could.

"Ah." Arlo said, the silence that followed had him rolling the ring around his finger. It seemed like a nervous habit.

"How long have you two been-" John gestured at Arlo's ring, "you know?" He said.

"Two years." Arlo said. "Our parents decided it was mutually beneficial. Got married straught into our first college year."

"Oh." John said. "We're getting married soon." Trying to find some common ground with the blond so that any conversation could be less awkward.

Seraphina's eyes never left John's daughter. Gawking at the innocent baby from where it slept peacefully off the crook of her mother's arms.

* * *

_John's mother was dead, so he didnt really know how to comfort Seraphina as she spilled her guts to him the truth about everything her mother had done to break, then mold her._

_It was hard, holding Seraphina as she cried for two hours. He got her water and then slipped outside when he thought she was sleeping in krder to get a good night's run to refresh his mind and hopefully tire him out if he ran his route._

_It was a mistake._

* * *

"Oh my gosh! Seraphina, Arlo! You should cone to our wedding!" Elaine said, Seraphina looked nearly downright murderous in her own, subtle Seraphina way. Arlo looked unsure about the whole '_attending your ex's wedding_'.

"Remi's already my maid of honor and its too close to add you to my bridesmaid, but it'll be fun! Oh! Did you know that Remi-" Elaine's conversation with Seraphina gradually became tuned out as John looked anywhere but Seraphina. He ended up facing down Arlo as their significant others seemed to be in their own world.

"You know she misses you still. Dont know what you did but it fucked her up. Real bad." Arlo suddenly said, cornering John into a conversatio. "When we thought she was pregnant she wanted to name it John if it was a boy."

"None of thats my fault." John said.

"Hey John? Me and Seraphina are gonna go shopping together." Elaine said. "But we're gonna stop by the food court first." She still had on that smile that she knew he was weak to.

"Yeah sure." He said, sliding out his crsdit card from his wallet and letting Elaine swipe it up and handed him their child. He then watched, in mild horror as Elaine and Seraphina left him with the last person he'd wanted to talk to that day.

* * *

_It was weird. _ _They'd_ _ been in a relationship for nine months and had not one fight._

_Even the trivial arguments, like where to eat, or their attire. Sera just said for him to pick because if it was good enough for him, it was good enough for her. It was every case scenario so John ended up making most of their choices._

_It was probably why their first real argument was so explosive._

_John thought that out of all of the things they _ _could've_ _ argued about, it was the most stupidest one. He'd smiled at a waitress who was "aggressively flirting" with him and it made her "swoon". Sera didnt waste time calling out the loquacious (which John didnt know was a word until this fight) bitch who tried to steal her boyfriend. It was a whole debacle for, in John's opionion, no reason. _

_But Sera didnt see it that way and when they were behind doors and in private, they argued about how it _ _could've_ _ been dealt with better (Sera said that she couldve done much worse to the waitress but restrained herself, which didnt ease any of the tension from the argument and made the following days _ _awkward_ _.)_

* * *

"What the fuck? It isnt your fault?" Arlo glowered at him. "She has nightmares about you leaving her, and she wakes me up screaming, and when I get her awake all she does is cry your name over and over until she realizes Im not you."

"Langauge." John said, glaring at Arlo and giving a pointed look to his daughter. "Of course you'd be like this...who do you think had to deal with it first?" John snapped. He couldnt stand Arlo's shabby attempt at guilt tripping him. "She'd yell at me for leaving her alone for a couple hours, and would send me texts all the time, then angrily spam me because id I couldnt answer right away I must've been cheating. Some of them were saying how if i wasnt with her she'd feel like she wasn't breathing. She even tried to get me to make a fucking baby with her so she'd "_always have a piece of me with her_". So tell me Arlo, how was I supposed to deal with that while in highschool?"

"You have a daughter though-?" John rolled his eyes.

"With my fiancee! Who I very much love. We're functioning adults and planned around our daughter as much as we could with our adult lives and jobs and money. Seraphina was just..." John vaguely gestured his hand in the air, as of trying to catch the right words. "She was just too dependent on me. Emotionally, mentally."

"And its exhausting." Arlo finished.

"Exactly- wait what?" John was dumbfounded. This conversation was too much for him to comprehend. Why was Arlo agreeing with him when he'd just insulted his daughter?

"She had to find someone after you." Arlo said dryly with a small, bitterly wry smile. "And I'm technically legally bounded to her so I dont get much of a choice. You got lucky with Elaine, keep her."

* * *

_Sera found him in the middle of his jog. He was halfway through the park when she'd caught up to him._

_She was cursing, as streams tracked down her cheeks. "Do you not love me? I told you everything, why'd you run away? Am I not good enough for you? I promise, I'll be better."_

_He tried to calm her down. Assuring that she was perfect, and that he adored her, that he just needed a bit of time to process everything._

_And thats when she slapped him._

_(That's when everything went downhill.)_

_Sera snapped. She had this unnerving expression as John tried to hold back from hitting back. She kept saying how he was weak without her and that she was meant to be by his side. That no one else could make her happy just like no one but him could make her content._

_"I'll be a good girlfriend, I swear. I love you John, I love you so much. I cant live without you. It isnt worth _ _it_ _ if _ _you're_ _ not there with me." She rambled, gaze unfocused at she looked down on the ground._

_And he just walked away. He locked the dorm door and plugged in his earbuds, blasting music to drown out any noise._

_When he saw Seraphina the next day, he quietly said that they were over. She hung her head and whispered an "Okay," before walking away from him._

_And they avoided each other up until graduation, when John made valedictorian and Sera was the salvatorian, and they waited on stage side by side for the first time in ages._

_"John, I-" She was cut short by the Headmaster calling for John to give his speech. And John didn't try to gear the rest of whatever she wanted to say._

* * *

"Well, Elaine cant just up and leave me now." John humorouslessly chuckled. "But yeah, shes mellowed out a lot since... _that_ time. She's a great girl. Sorry for whatever Seraphina's put you through, but I know I'm happier with Elaine, and she's the woman I'm gonna marry."

"You're right. Im sorry." Arlo said, sounding strained.

"Oh I'm sorry? What? Couldn't hear you." John said, relishing in the tense way Arlo's demeanor shifted.

"I said, I'm sorry." Arlo gritted out. "Seraphina isnt an easy girl to be married to, I guess I projected my anger onto you since you're marrying Elaine." Arlo said, as his hands clenched.

"You finally get a therapist?" John said.

"Marriage counselling." Arlo replied. "I broke up with Elaine to marry Seraphina, I hated it but its good that Elaine's happy."

"Yeah, we are. She's a great mother." John said, a hint of a smile ghosting his lips.

"Elaine had a bunch of baby names picked out for Remi. Which one did you choose?" Arlo asked.

"Sabrina, Elaine thought it was cute." John said. There was a pause, Arlo seemed to be finding words to say.

".. That was my little sister's name." Arlo finally said, and pulled his phone out from his pocket. "Oh, when she comes back, tell Seraphina I had to go, just got a business text."

And he left John in the middle of the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from: Twit by Hwasa 
> 
> This hit a little close to home so,,,, yeh. Sorry ive been lagging behind in updates, i havent been feeling Too Hot at the moment, but my break ends today and i just wanted to get something in before it becomes hectic.
> 
> Stay safe and sound yall !!
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -jane


	9. iam dying to believe you||magic au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, its just a regular, average day in the life of a necromancer Arlo. His healer girlfriend makes a cameo too.

People usually judged them by their looks.

And it was fine, Arlo really didn't mind.

However, he suppose that having a joint business with a healer was not the best. Customers often mistaken him for a healer, and he supposed he looked the part with his blond hair and blue eyes that gave the illusion of a thriving man who could heal any ailments presented to them.

It couldn't be more far from the truth.

He inherited necromancy from his mother, a European medium named Anya who just so happened to be a feminine mirror image of her son. Spirits were always a constant in his life, flitting from there to here without a care of the people or things they passed through.

Remi, contrary to Arlo's black magic, was blessed with powers of healing, like their friend Elaine. Her mother was a white witch who passed on her gracious abilities to her. Remi's affinity with her magic had saved Arlo multiple times when a poltergeist or the random vengeful spirit decided the necromancer was easy pickings. She was bright and bubbling with energy, always full of life.

The first time they met, Arlo was looking for a healing potion. Which was probably not the best circumstances to meet under -and the fact that a telekenetic spirit followed him into the shop and began breaking things and by the time he'd managed to subdue it, Remi had already thrown the first punch- really didn't help.

Instead of brooding on the fact that Arlo clearly didnt look like a healer, the jingling bells from their door got him in his customer service mode.

"Welcome to Bartholomew's, how can we help?" Arlo said mechanically.

"Um, hi?" The petite brunette said, she looked around the shop in wonder. She cleared her throat and then looked him in the eye, albeit not directly. "I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

"Yeah?" Arlo said, not really paying her presence mind as he sorted the jars back onto the shelves. He would strangle Remi for later, because she just got a new delivery of herbs, oregano and mint looked too fucking similar. And opening the mason jars to smell the difference would _"release all the magic in plants, the so don't do it"_.

"Uh, I... I'm pregnant?" The girl said quietly. She repeated again, more firmly again. "I'm pregnant." Arlo'a eyebrows raised in surprise, but he still kept sorting. She looked almost his age, a bit younger.

"Congratulations." Arlo said, rather blandly. "Go talk to my girlfriend, I'm the one who speaks to dead people."

Arlo could hear her jostle. He supposed there was a kinder, gentler way to say he wasn't a healer but mistaken identity had gotten the better of him after so many times.

"Then you can help me!" She exclaimed, then caught herself in her excitement. She cleared her throat nervously again and smoothed the front her large winter coat. "I want to talk to my dad, he a couple months ago in a car wreck."

Arlo gave the bare minimum at attempting to be sympathetic while talking with her. Her request was rather unusual, but he'd had weirder. The customer father had told her that he had the perfect baby names for her, but had died before he could tell her, saying he'd name his grandchild himself when the child was born.

"Okay, so he didnt die too long ago, correct?" Arlo asked, leading her to the counter as he filled out a waiver.

"Yes. His name is Ic-"

"I wouldnt say his name out loud. Names hold power, and this place is teeming with ghosts. Sign here." Arlo said, sliding the waiver and pen over to her.

"Um, what's this?" She asked, signing on the line Arlo specified.

"It's a waiver. In case you get haunted or hurt or some shit," Arlo didnt miss the way she slightly winced and smothered her hand across hee abdomen, as if to shield the baby from his potty mouth. "We're not responsible for whatever happens to you after."

"Well, whats the worst that could happen?" She said rhetorically, so Arlo didnt want to actually answer. Technically, a lot. And the fact that she was emotionally vunerable, expectant mother left her prone to all kinds of black magic rebounds, her unborn child needed protection too, which meant double the protection.

"So who's the lucky guy?" Arlo said, trying to not bite his tongue off from holding back telling the girl the possible complications from performing a seance. Her mood visibly dampened.

"It was a one night stand." She said, and Arlo decided not to push any further because while he was usually inconsiderate emotionally, a crying pregnant girl in his store was something he'd rather not explain to anyone unlucky enough to come in. Great spirit forbid, explaining it to Remi.

"Okay.. and okay. Looks like the paperwork's filled out. Heres the consent forms," Arlo brought out a packet of papers. "Please take your time reading them, but sign here, here.. as well as here on pages 4 through 8. And right.... here." He pointed at the last signature place on page 12.

As the customer just signed away, Arlo had made her stop, and read the terms and conditions.

"Possessed? You have to touch me?!" She said as she hesitantly hovered the pen over the line.

"Spirits are finicky to deal with. I dont make the rules. Youre consenting for me to cast some protection charms in order to combat the possibility of a spirit latching onto you, I can do it on your arms if that makes you feel any better?" Arlo said, mindlessly playing around with Onyx, Remi's black cat who had jumped on the counter.

The girl let out a calming breath, and proceeded to skim through and sign the dotted lines. Halfway through, Remi decided that then would be a good time to enter the shop, and the bells attached to the door had almost scared Arlo out of his skin to join the spirit by the saffron.

"Hey babe, oh sorry." Remi said as she saw the customer by the counter. She offered the expectant mother a smile and a small wave when she turned to look at her. "I'll be in the back, yell if you need me."

"I have a customer so you can finish your stupid herbs." Arlo said with a bite to his words. "They're by the sage."

"Tragic." Remi said, disappearing into the back room once she recovered her delivery crate.

The girl seemed to pause and listen in on their exchange. But tried to cover it up with burying herself back into the forms. Arlo decided that small mercies were a start to getting her to relax.

"Dont mind her, shes always stupid." Arlo said. A small smile curved her lips.

"I heard from the moms group that she's great at what she does." She said quietly, curling the _E_ on one of her signatures.

"Just cause youre a genius doesnt mean you cant be stupid." Arlo said, and the girl handed back the signed waiver. Arlo glanced at her name. _Imogene_. He hated asking for names outright ever since that wayward warlock bugged the store and stole names from them.

"This way," Arlo said. He pulled back a curtain into his seance room and pulled out a chair for her at his round seance table, before settling into his own at the head. "Could you hold out your arms, i have some Salve that I'm gonna draw to give you maximum security."

"Okay," Imogene said shakily. Her arms were slightly shaking as well. "Will you be okay too?"

Arlo chuffed out a laugh. "I'll be fine."

"If you say so." Imogene said, her voice tiny. Arlo quickly drew up protective wards on her arms, and drew a circle on her palms with charcoal, and put salt in a square formation around the Ouija board.

"I'm going to begin the seance, but Im going to lay down some rules: Do not reply to any spirits, you might hear some, so dont speak to them. Don't say your name or your father's out loud, names have power. Oh, and whatever you do, don't let go of my hands, you might become possessed." Arlo said as he outstretched his hands. Imogene grasped them and nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling shakily with her eyes closed.

"Im ready." She said. The Ouija board laid between them in the circle their joined hands made.

"Well alright then," Arlo said. "Im going to begin summoning your father, do not let go of my hands, and close your eyes until I say its safe. It may take a few minutes, but it will definitely be him."

"Okay," She said.

Arlo's eyes closed and he felt the cool rush of necromancy fall over him like a curtain. _"I summon forth the spirit __whos__ blood calls this woman." _His tongue felt slightly heavy with the Latin pronunciation.

Whispers spilled out of the shadows, chattering as they tried to be filtered through the spirit board. The temperature dropped so sharply that their exhales were puffs of smoke. It was a minute before the feeling of something being let through the Ouija board, and the miscellaneous spirits that it held back. A bead of sweat trickled down Imogene's forehead as she squeezed her eyes tighter.

"He says hello," Arlo told Imogene. She let out a sound. "You can speak with him now, its safe."

Her eyes shot open as she watched the planchette spell out HELLO.

"Dad?"

It moved to YES.

"Hi.. I- I miss you so much."

It traced out the answer SAME. Imogene let out a choked, wet laugh.

"Im pregnant.. but when I came back... mom said it was too late. I just want you to name my baby, Im sorry I had to go to this length." Imogene said. Arlo tried not to find offence in how he was considered a length, as if he was a last resort.

"If its a girl, what do you want it to be?" Imogene asked, wiping her eyes with her shoulder slightly, careful not to let go of Arlo's hands.

TAURIEL, the board replied.

"And a boy?"

BEORN it spelled out. Imogene let out a choked string of giggles. "Its nothing, I should've known..." She said as she rubbed her face with one of her shoulders.

Imogene was silent for a while, as if reveling in the presence of her father for a quiet moment. "I miss you." She whispered.

MISS YOU TOO the board spelled out. Imogene was speechless as tears trickled down her cheeks.

Arlo watched in horror as a particularly large tear splashed onto a sigil and washed a sliver of it away. The whispers and murmurs of the dead started to pour in.

TAKE CARE the board spelled out, frantically quick. Shadows grew, whisping around the edges of the board. Arlo tried to keep the gnawing worry down as the planchette whisked over GOODBYE.

"I'm ending the session." Arlo said, launching into chanting in Latin. Imogene looked like she was rather opposed to it, but the table started swaying, and Arlo had to shout the incantation as the swaying turned into violent rocking. The candles blew out in a whisper of shadows. Imogene squeezed her eyes shut, clutching onto Arlo's hand like a lifeline and curling into herself.

Arlo spoke the last word to his cast and the candle wicks burst into life again, the table stilled and the room returned back to normal.

Imogene looked up, blotchy cheeks and all. Arlo heaved a sigh of relief. She seemed perfectly intact and healthy. Nothing had touched her soul.

And then a trickle of blood spilled down from her nose.

Arlo's hurriedly ushered her out, casting a quick containment spell as he helped her through the shop and into another room that led from behind the counter.

"Hey." Arlo said, Remi looked up, slightly startled. "Heal her or whatever, I have to decontaminate." He led Imogene onto the patient bed and Remi was quick to pull a few herbs and things from jars stored on the numerous shelves in the room. Arlo wasted no time turning around and running back to his seance area.

He grabbed the sage off the counter in the store, then braved the queasy feeling and threw himself into his seance room. Immeditely, the murmurs of the dead flooded his ears and pressed against his skull, each individually trying to call for his attention but all getting mixed into one continuous street of unintelligible whispers. Arlo held the sage over the the lone burning candle until they lit as well, and blew it out as he fanned the sage smoke about his seance area.

Once the murmuring had dulled to faint whispering, Arlo wasted no time painting the purifying and cleansing sigils about the room. He impulsively drew it on just about everything he though had the potential to be a vessel. Imogene was long gone by the time he collapsed from his effort of cleaning the air.

Usually nothing stirred him from the magic casting crash.

The door sounded from the series of knocks.

"Arlo? I got your happy juice." Remi said from behind the door, and Arlo could smell the tea from where he sat.

Well.... nothing but Remi's chamomile tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from: Say My Name by Bebe Rexah (feat. J Balvin).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!! Remember to leave a kudos if you havent already and a comment!! I love any feedback i get :))
> 
> Ta ta lovelies~
> 
> -Jane


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